Rodney Dangerfields Best One-Liners

Rodney Dangerfields Best One-Liners Rodney Dangerfield had captured the minds of his audience with his ribald, in-your-face humor. Dangerfield expired on October 6, 2004, and his death created a void. It is almost difficult to smile at jokes, but his quotes remind us that laughter is the essence of life. So lets go on with the memory of the legendary comedian while we read  Rodney Dangerfield  quotes. General Humor People say fish is good for a diet. But fish should never be cooked in butter. Fish should be cooked in its natural oils - Texaco, Mobil, Exxon... Acting deals with very delicate emotions. It is not putting up a mask. Each time an actor acts he does not hide; he exposes himself. Men who do things without being told draw the most wages. I bought a new Japanese car. I turned on the radio... I dont understand a word theyre saying. I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck. I have three kids, one of each. I have nothing but troubles with my car. Every Sunday I take my family out for a push. Boy  what a hotel that was. Why, they stole my towel! I was so depressed that I decided to jump from the tenth floor. They sent up a priest. He said, On your mark... What a dog I got, he found out we look alike, so he killed himself. Childhood Oh, when I was a kid in show business I was poor. I used to go to orgies to eat the grapes. When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them. I came from a real tough neighborhood. I bought a waterbed and found a guy at the bottom of it. I came from a real tough neighborhood. In the local  restaurant,  I sat down and had  broken  leg of lamb. I came from a real tough neighborhood.  Why,  every time I shut the window, I hurt somebodys fingers. I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a  sling shot. I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face. In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window. I came from a real tough neighborhood. On my street, the kids take hubcaps†¦ from moving cars. I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once, a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasnt a professional; the knife had butter on it. Family My cousin is gay; in school while other kids were dissecting frogs, he was opening flies. My cousin is gay; he went to London only to find out that Big Ben was a clock. My cousin is gay; I always tell him that in our family tree, hes in the fruit section. I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs. One time my whole family played hide and seek. They found my mother in Pittsburgh! With my old  man  I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff. My old man, I told him Im tired of running around in circles. So he nailed my other foot to the floor. When I was born, the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, Im very  sorry. We did everything we could. But he pulled through. I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War  my great uncle fought for the West. I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens. I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me. Im so ugly - my father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet. Boy,  is my wife stupid! It takes her an hour and a half to watch 60 minutes. My daughters no bargain either. In public  school  she was voted most likely to conceive. Age Last year my birthday cake looked like a prairie fire. At twenty, a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy, he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he cant. I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous†¦ everyone hasnt met me yet. Funny Incidents For two hours, some guy followed me around with a pooper scooper. The other night a mugger took off his mask and made me wear it. Last week I was walking by a cemetery, two guys came after me with shovels. It was all about money. A travel agent told I could spend seven nights in Hawaii†¦ no days, just nights. Last week, my tie caught on fire; some guy tried to put it out with an  axe. Doctors I met the surgeon general - he offered me a cigarette. I went to the doctor because Id swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest. My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror. And I drink too much, way too much; my doctor drew blood -  he ran a tab! I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror... I feel like throwing up. Whats wrong with me? He said, I dont know but your eyesight is perfect. Last week I told my psychiatrist, I keep thinking about suicide. He told me from now on I have to pay in advance. Sex Im at the age where I want two girls. In case I fall asleep, they will have someone to talk to. My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dogs bed.  Actually  she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. A girl phoned me the other day and said, Come on over, theres nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home. During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel. I once went out with this wild girl. She made French toast and got her tongue caught in the toaster. My wife only has sex with me for a purpose. Last night it was to time an egg. With girls, I dont think right. I had a date with one girl, she had mirrors all over her bedroom. She told me to come over and bring a bottle. I got Windex. Im taking Viagra and drinking prune juice - I dont know if Im coming or going. I got myself good this morning too. I did my pushups in the nude; I didnt see the mouse trap. I know the best way to get girls. I hang out at prisons and wait for parolees. I asked my wife if she enjoys a cigarette after sex and she said, No, one drag is enough. I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself. Im a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me. Self My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good. One year they asked me to be poster boy - for birth control. You wanna  have  laughs? Do what I do. When I go through a tollbooth, I keep going. I tell the guy, The car behind me is paying for two. I found there was only one way to look thin:  hang out with fat people. My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said,  okay, youre ugly too. Im so ugly... I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big Id get. I was such an ugly kid†¦ when I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up. I get no respect. The way my luck is running, if I was a politician, I would be honest. I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing. I had a good time last week. I did a show; the whole audience was midgets. I got a standing ovation - I didnt even know it! Oh, last week was a rough week. I noticed my gums were shrinking. I was brushing my teeth with Preparation H. I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it. This morning, when I put on my underwear, I could hear the Fruit-of-the-Loom guys laughing at me. His Wife My wife has to be the worst cook. Her specialty is indigestion. One day as I came home early from work... I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, Hey buddy, why are you doing that? He said, Because you came home early. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday. I havent spoken to my wife in years. I didnt want to interrupt her. Once, somebody stole our car. I asked my wife if she saw who it was. She said, No, but I did get the license number. With my  wife,  I  dont get no  respect. I made a toast on her birthday to the best woman a man ever had. The waiter joined me. My wife had her drivers test the other day. She got 8 out of 10. The other 2 guys jumped clear. I asked him, Who said you could fool around with my wife? He said, Everybody. Ill tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed.  Yeah, I leave. I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender. My wifes not too smart. I told her  our kids were spoiled. She said, All kids smell that way. My wife has to be the worst cook. Ive got the only dog who begs for Alka-Seltzer. Theres only one thing wrong with my wifes face - it shows. †¦went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. Surprise me, I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife. My wife has to be the worst cook. I dont believe meatloaf should glow in the dark. My wife has to be the worst cook. In my house, we pray after we eat. I have good looking kids. Thank goodness my wife cheats on me. I went to look for a used car and found my wifes dress in the back seat. I remember one guy gave her a good piece of his mind. Yeah, it was right after she took a good piece of his leg. My marriage is on the rocks again.  Yeah, my wife just broke up with her  boyfriend. My wifes a great driver; she once hit a deer. It was in a zoo. There is a pair of shoes on the dashboard. They belong to the last guy she hit. My wife was afraid of the dark†¦ then she saw me naked and now shes afraid of the light. Why,  her cooking is so bad that the flies pitched in to fix the screen door. I leave dental floss in the kitchen and watch the roaches hang themselves.

Round vs. Around

Round vs. Around Round vs. Around Round vs. Around By Maeve Maddox One of the differences between American and British English is the usage of the words round and around. Americans use around in contexts in which most British speakers prefer round. The word round has five grammatical functions: noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and preposition. The fighter was able to go another round. (noun) We watched as the runner rounded first base. (verb) Do you want a round plate or a square one? (adjective) The bridge was out, so we had to go round. (adverb) The tiger ran round the tree. (preposition) Round came into the language as a noun meaning â€Å"a circular object.† At various times, the â€Å"circular object† was a racecourse, a ring, and a coin. In a text from 1325, round is the word used for a diadem encircling the head of a man in a painting. Chaucer used round in the sense of a globe. In Macbeth, Shakespeare used round as a word for a sovereign’s crown. Around was formed from the noun round by adding the prefix a-, a variation of the prefix on-, creating an adverb that meant â€Å"in a circle.† In some contexts, British speakers use round and around interchangeably; for example, either â€Å"He put his arm round her,† or â€Å"He put his arm around her.† Otherwise, according to a note in the British English section of Oxford Dictionaries, there’s a general preference among British speakers to use round for â€Å"definite, specific movement,† and around in contexts that are less definite. For example, She turned round. A bus came round the corner. She wandered around for ages. The computer cost around  £3,000. According to a rumor circulating around the track, he’s using steroids. American usage sometimes reflects British usage by using round, but around is more common. Although the Oxford note says that in most contexts, â€Å"round is generally regarded as informal or non-standard,† I haven’t found anything in Merriam-Webster or the Chicago Manual of Style to indicate that using round the way the British do is â€Å"non-standard† in American usage. It may be old-fashioned, but it is not unknown in American writing: By the rude bridge that arched the flood, Their flag to April’s breeze unfurled, Here once the embattled farmers stood And fired the shot heard round the world. Ralph Waldo Emerson, â€Å"Concord Hymn,† 1837 I should like if my sisters are well and all the people round the neighborhood. letter from Peter Van Wagener (son of Sojourner Truth), March 22, 1841 The usage is still seen in emails and web comments by American speakers: We live downtown and I take them round the neighborhood, A mother talking about taking children trick or treating in Sacramento, California. One of the latest scams going round is that someone will stop you and ask if you are interested in perfume, email debunked on Snopes.com/. The strange form ‘round crops up in both British and American contexts, but as round is not a shortening of around, and as there’s no law against the American use of round to mean around, the apostrophe makes no sense in either dialect. Want to improve your English in five minutes a day? Get a subscription and start receiving our writing tips and exercises daily! Keep learning! Browse the Misused Words category, check our popular posts, or choose a related post below:75 Contronyms (Words with Contradictory Meanings)Using the Active Voice to Strengthen Your WritingPreposition Mistakes #3: Two Idioms

Health law assignment Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words

Health law assignment - Essay Example nd Affordable Care Act (PPACA)2 by the congress was not to be perceived as an act of the government requiring that all citizens should purchase a health insurance for its own sake, but rather should be perceived from the point of view that it is a law seeking to cover universal risks (). In this respect, any legislation that seeks to cover universals risks of the citizens falls under the powers of the federal government to regulate activities that â€Å"substantially affect† interstate commerce. Thus, the introduction of the collision insurance, under the â€Å"Collision Insurance Requirement and Traffic Safety Act (CIRTSA)†, is a measure that falls under the same category of protecting universal risks. This is because, the introduction of collision insurance is targeted at ensuring that all citizens have their cars covered on the event of an accident, not for the sake of their own cars, but to protect the universal risks that are exposed to citizens when their cars cla sh. This is because; the loss of individuals’ cars during a car clash has the negative effect of causing such individuals to undergo high financial blows, while also affecting the livelihoods of the individuals, through negative consequences such as losing jobs. Therefore, through the introduction of the collision insurance, the universal livelihoods and interests of the people will be protected, since they will be compensated for their losses when their cars clash, thus helping them avoiding the financial blows, as well as avoid losing their jobs. In this respect therefore, the introduction of the â€Å"Collision Insurance Requirement and Traffic Safety Act (CIRTSA)† falls under the mandate of the federal power to regulate activities that â€Å"substantially affect† interstate commerce, because it is meant to protect the universal risks to all citizens, which is within the federal mandate under this clause. Secondly, under the ruling in the case Gonzales v. Raich [2005] 545 U.S. 1, it was provided

Child Labor in the Victorian Age Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1250 words

Child Labor in the Victorian Age - Essay Example Unfortunately, as many of those in the government were for child labor, many laws and rules stayed the same, continuing to endanger the children in their workplaces. As most of the businesses during the Victorian age were industrial and factorial, "these were the places of employment that children were limited to and forced to work, so the working conditions were horrid, and not just for the children but for their elders as well (Horn, 1997)". In many instances, such as the coalmines and gas companies, the children worked amongst harmful gases and other potentially dangerous vapors. The outdoor industries, such as shipyards and construction sites, found the children working outside in all manners of temperature and weather conditions, from heat to the icy winters, harsh sunshine to foot upon foot of snow (Damrosch, 1104). As these children often came from poor families, they were unable to afford the proper attire to keep them protected during the changing weather conditions. Other dangers that were presented to the children simply came from the areas in which they worked. On a construction site or a shipyard, there was always the fear of falling beams or walls, stepping on nails, which often led to severe infections that caused disease such as tetanus, which could not be cured during that time and the children often died from it. The children were constantly at risk for getting injured in their workplace; they were too young to be properly aware of all these dangers, and the elders took little concern to the well-being of these children, with many of the elders viewing the children as disposable - it would not be difficult to hire another child if need be. In fact, most of the injuries and deaths on the job during the Victorian age were children, and neglect or unchecked safety issues often caused these. The children, as with the older workers, received few, if any, breaks during their workdays. They were permitted meals at the proper times, but those

Angel in the House Virgina Woolf Essay Example for Free

Angel in the House Virgina Woolf Essay Virginia Woolf was an English author. She was a feminist, publisher, essayist and critic. Woolf commonly acquired female authors Jane Austen and Charlotte Bronte. Woolf analyses women and their struggles as artists, their position in literary history and need for independence in her works of literature. Woolf’s short story â€Å"Angel in the House† has a deeper meaning then just a female author sharing pointers and stories on how she succeeded in her career to another woman trying to become a successful professional. These personal encounters and struggles the author in the story discusses with the other women really expose how different women’s jobs were compared to men’s and recognizes that different approaches needed to be made by a woman in order to do well in her occupation. Women were not to be perceived more superior then men. The speaker of the story is clearly Virginia in Angel in the House. The fact that the woman in the story is a female author and continuously compares how being a professional woman is much harder than people consider it to be makes it obvious to the reader that Virginia is the speaker. She begins by sarcastically discusses how easy being a writer is and that she is unsure why someone recommended her to give advice on being successful because her job is so easy. The author says â€Å"to show how little I deserve to be a professional women how little I know of the struggles and difficulties of such lives, I have to admit instead of spending that sum upon bread, butter, shoes, stockings or butcher bills I went out and bought a cat†(Woolf 109). She starts off speaking about her profession in this manner because that was how men felt about being a professional author or critic or essayist. They believed that job was stress free. If this was an author who was a man though he would of never spoke down about his job like that, but it was strictly because it was a women doing it that they felt this way about the work. After talking down about being a professional writer, the author starts to tell the other women about inner struggles she has had to deal with in her profession. Inner struggles that men were not aware of. She speaks about a phantom that she named the Angel in the house. This phantom angel is referred to by the author as a she; she was pure, charming, sympathetic and selfless. This angel in the house made the author feel guilty for having her own opinion and personality. This phantom wanted every woman to have the same morals and characteristics as her. She was what a woman was supposed to act and think like especially in a society that men ruled. The narrator states she had to kill the angel in the house in order to become successful in her profession. This angel wanted to pluck the heart out of the authors writing, basically wanting it to be average and appropriate incase a man were to read it. Women who obeyed the angel and acted as she did were not living up to their fullest potential, allowing the men to outshine them. A woman does not discover herself until she kills that phantom, forgets what men expect and follow her own intuition no matter what.

Road Not Taken :: Free Essays

Critical Interpretation of â€Å"The Road Not Taken† by Robert Frost As a poem, â€Å"The Road Not Taken† is a great source of inspiration and able to be understood by all readers from an intuitive reader to a novice poem reader. A short poem with 4 sections, Robert Frost has given the main theme of the poem in its title, â€Å"The Road Not Taken.† Depending on the reader, the â€Å"road not taken† can ultimately imply any journey in life in which a decision between two paths must be made. â€Å"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood† provides the introduction and gives the main idea that a path must be chosen from two roads. Frost has further added to the drama of the decision in that both paths are desirable with â€Å"and sorry I could not travel both.† Frost implies that the path to be chosen is a personal decision in â€Å"and be one traveler.† In describing the two paths, Frost uses reverse language to describe. The first path was â€Å"bent in the undergrowth,† meaning it was well worn with no opportunity for overgrowth. The second path was â€Å"grassy and wanted wear† meaning it was overgrown and lacked wear (or a path). Frost foreshadows his decision by his use of language in describing those two paths. With both roads or paths equal, ultimately a decision must be made with no regret is the meaning Frost is providing in â€Å"And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black.† As Frost has made his decision as to which path to pursue, he introduces another idea that after traveling the selected path perhaps he can come back to the philosophical fork in the road and chose the other path. But then he reminds himself that as one decision leads to other decisions and time moves on, he will more than likely never be able to get back to this point in his life or journey. Road Not Taken :: Free Essays Critical Interpretation of â€Å"The Road Not Taken† by Robert Frost As a poem, â€Å"The Road Not Taken† is a great source of inspiration and able to be understood by all readers from an intuitive reader to a novice poem reader. A short poem with 4 sections, Robert Frost has given the main theme of the poem in its title, â€Å"The Road Not Taken.† Depending on the reader, the â€Å"road not taken† can ultimately imply any journey in life in which a decision between two paths must be made. â€Å"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood† provides the introduction and gives the main idea that a path must be chosen from two roads. Frost has further added to the drama of the decision in that both paths are desirable with â€Å"and sorry I could not travel both.† Frost implies that the path to be chosen is a personal decision in â€Å"and be one traveler.† In describing the two paths, Frost uses reverse language to describe. The first path was â€Å"bent in the undergrowth,† meaning it was well worn with no opportunity for overgrowth. The second path was â€Å"grassy and wanted wear† meaning it was overgrown and lacked wear (or a path). Frost foreshadows his decision by his use of language in describing those two paths. With both roads or paths equal, ultimately a decision must be made with no regret is the meaning Frost is providing in â€Å"And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black.† As Frost has made his decision as to which path to pursue, he introduces another idea that after traveling the selected path perhaps he can come back to the philosophical fork in the road and chose the other path. But then he reminds himself that as one decision leads to other decisions and time moves on, he will more than likely never be able to get back to this point in his life or journey.

How typical is England to Her Sons Essay

How typical is â€Å"England to Her Sons† of the poems in this section of the anthology. Happy is England in the brave that die. This is a line from â€Å"Happy is England now†. In my opinion it sums up the section as a whole because it is stating that the people of England wanted the soldiers to fight and they respect the sacrifices the men have made. The whole section revolves about the acknowledgment of the deaths of the soldiers and also the acceptance of it. Personification is used in England to her Sons and Happy is England Now about England itself. It conjures u a motherly and maternal image of the Motherland towards the soldiers going out to fight. Moreover, it unites England and makes it seem everyone had a positive attitude towards the war when it is mentioned that â€Å"happy is England now as never yet†, which implies that the whole of England is proud and glad that the soldiers are going to war. Happy is England Now projects a very strong and patriotic message of making sacrifices and protecting this picturesque England with â€Å"her hills, rivers and her chafing sea†. It uses natural imagery to stir up a desire to protect the land where these soldiers were born and raised. Moreover, a sense of experiencing this â€Å"Happy England† caused by the sacrifice of war, is created by the intensified senses created in the last stanza where birds â€Å"sing the sweeter in our English ears† and nobleness that â€Å"shines the purer† in their English hearts. It would have created a longing for people to be part of this wonderful land, and therefore they would have wanted to have protected it. Symbolism also has a large presence in these poems and it gives the poems depth and more complexity. England to her Sons uses symbolism to create a sense of ownership of the soldiers, â€Å"Sons of mine I hear you thrilling† and it is also implied that she â€Å"bore† the children† which the Motherland then sends to war. In Fourth of August, the symbolism is used to make the soldiers seem very young and naive, â€Å"Spirit of England, ardent eyed† which makes the soldiers seem very keen and apprehensive, but also innocent and defenceless. Finally, symbolism is used to create a religious link between the War and the â€Å"destroying dragon† which Saint George, who represents England and her Soldiers, slays to protect his people. The soldiers in this section are made heroes for being martyrs. This is shown especially in Fourth of August on the last two lines, â€Å"We step from the days of sour division into the grandeur of our fate†, which shows that the soldiers and people believed that it was a good thing to die for ones country. This is also emphasised again in England to her Sons, where it creates a great sense for the soldiers and England, as they accept the death of their â€Å"sons†, â€Å"save a little space to weep†. â€Å"And the worst friend and enemy is but Death†, is a reference to Peace, and it just emphasises that even though â€Å"Death† reaps them of their lives, it also enables them to come closer with their Maker, God. Overall, England to her Sons represent this section of the anthology very well, because it includes everything that this section is trying to convey to the reader. It shows the sacrifice of England and the soldiers who give their life, and it projects the religious message of God, who will send them to heaven for their good deeds. Moreover it glorifies death by using euphemism, â€Å"And if He in wisdom giveth Unto His beloved sleep†, to acquire an acceptance of the soldiers. Lastly, it also shows the undoubting faith that the people of England had at that time, as they all believed that God would protect them and guide them to winning the War.

An African American Fight for Respect Essay

For thousands of years women have been fighting for many things, one of the most important being respect. Some people may think respect for a woman is simply holding the door for her as she walks through, pulling her chair out for her before she is seated, or maybe just standing when she leaves the table; but respect is so much more than that. Respect is a feeling of deep admiration for someone elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Respect is a feeling that cannot just be given to someone, it is a feeling that must be earned, fought for, or rewarded. For the African American woman, respect did not come by so easily no matter how hard they fought or even if they earned it. Examples of the African American woman fighting for her respect, has once upon a time been one of the many themes during all literary periods. The two works that I chose have the similar theme of respect. The literary pieces are â€Å"Sweat† by Zora Neale Hurston and â€Å"The Color Purple† by Alice Walker. These two works show the same theme of respect for black women and the struggle for it from men. Though both stories have comparisons that could go on for days, they just as well have their differences by the way the handle the theme of respect. Alice Walker has been writing stories and poetry for many years. As a graduate of Spelman College she was given great opportunities and was given a solid education. Women’s rights and respect has always been two topics close to Alice’s heart. It has been said, that â€Å"Alice Walker expresses the struggles of black people, particularly women, and their lives in a racist, sexist, and violent society. † Her writings also lean more towards the roles of black women through culture and history. On March 3, 2008 Alice Walker was arrested on International Women’s Day for crossing the police line at a rally in front of The White House. Walker has set a standard and has never had any need or want to change it. Of the many stories that Alice Walker has written, the one that stands out the most to me dealing with the female struggle for respect is the story made movie and musical, â€Å"The Color Purple. † â€Å"The Color Purple,† is a story written in 1982 that has won multiple awards and recognitions for its not so classy taste and realistic views. Some of these awards being from the Blue Ribbon Awards, Black Movie Awards, Golden Globe Awards, eleven nominations during the Oscars, and plenty more. The main characters in â€Å"The Color Purple,† are Celie Harris Johnson and Mister Albert Johnson. Celie has been abused since she was just a young girl; she had two children by her father Leonard and she is forced to marry Albert, a young widower, by the age of fourteen. During her years of being married to Albert, she is taunted, disrespected, beaten, and abused up until she turns her life around when she meets Shug Avery, a well-known Jazz singer, who comes to live with the couple. Shug takes it upon herself to help Celie raise her self-confidence so she can not only stand up to her husband and demand respect, but to feel beautiful about herself inside and out. By the end of the story, Celie stands up to Avery and is finally reconnected with the family that was once taken away from her. Another great black female author who proudly carries the theme of respect in her stories is Zora Neale Hurston. Hurston, a graduate of Howard University, was a well-known author during the Harlem Renaissance. Hurston is most known for her famous literary piece entitled, â€Å"Their Eyes Were Watching God† which caught the eyes of readers around the world. Like Alice Walker, Zora Neale Hurston has also won multiple awards for her fabulous novels, short stories, and poems. The story â€Å"Sweat† written by Zora Neale Hurston takes place in a small all black town located near Orlando, Florida. This story, like many others with disrespect towards the wife, starts off with husband Sykes taunting his wife Delia by tricking her into thinking that the whip he throws over her shoulders is a snake, knowing she is deadly terrified of them. Throughout the story, Delia deals with infidelity, abuse, rumors, and taunting from her husband. Towards the end of the story, her husband buys a rattlesnake and refuses to take it back where he found it from, knowing his wife is terrified. In the end, that very snake gets loose, bites, and kills him; Delia stands their watching him die. The website articlemyriad. com states â€Å"The reader can speculate on whether or not Delia was too afraid to move to get help for her husband, but it is the general consensus that she purposefully let him die. While you could argue both, if you are going to contend that she was just afraid, you’d better take a closer look at the text before trying to defend your point. † One of the greatest comparisons in this story is the lack of respect the husbands have for their wives, a marriage is supposed to be filled with trust, respect, love, and honesty, all of which the two marriages in â€Å"The Color Purple† and â€Å"Sweat† lacked. Although there are many comparisons, there were also contrasts in the two stories, although not exactly easy to find with a closed mind. A contrast in these two stories to me that stood out the most were the personalities of the two wives in the stories. In â€Å"The Color Purple,† Celie is abused and taken advantage of, but holds a quiet tongue until the end; Delia in â€Å"Sweat† is abused and taken advantage of , but she always speaks her mind and portrays her true feelings towards something. With these two stories I felt it was good to have the personalities of the women who wanted respect to be completely different so that I could compare and contrast just a bit more clearly. One was more hidden and kept feelings to herself, the other more outgoing and stronger like all women should be. In conclusion, respect for women, especially blacks, has been a subject that will always be discussed and fought for. Zora Neale Hurston and Alice Walker described the struggle for respect in many similar and different ways. I stated earlier that for thousands of years women have been fighting for many things, one of the most important being respect and that respect was a feeling that cannot just be given to someone, it is a feeling that must be earned, fought for, or rewarded. I am proud of the long way that not only African American women have come, but women all race and I am blessed to have such profound women to look up to. Women in the past who have fought for our rights set a high standard for the rest of us to follow and I look forward to doing just so. Works Cited 1. The Norton Anthology of African American Literature: Second Edition Henry Louis Gates Jr. & Nellie Y. McKay.

Sherlock Holmes Essays

Sherlock Holmes Essays Sherlock Holmes Essay Sherlock Holmes Essay Essay Topic: The Hound of the Baskervilles Arthur Conan Doyle was born on May 22, 1859, in Edinburgh, Scotland. As a young man he seemed destined for a career in medicine. In 1876 he attended the University of Edinburgh Medical School. There he met Joseph Bell, whose deductive powers and dramatic flair he would later embody in the character of Sherlock Holmes. In the early 1880s he served as a medical officer on an Arctic whaling ship and ship’s surgeon on a voyage to West Africa.By the summer of 1882, he had settled in the town of Southsea in the south of England. In 1885 he received his medical degree. Even after he was a well-established writer, he continued to pursue his medical education, becoming an eye specialist. His medical practice was unsuccessful, leaving him plenty of free time to write. His first story was The Mystery of Sarassa Valley, published in October 1879 in Chamber’s Journal. He had trouble finding a publisher for his first Sherlock Holmes novel, A Study in Scarlet, which eventually appeared in Beeton’s Christmas Annual for 1887.It and its successor, the novel The Sign of Four, published in 1890, were not popular at first. In 1891 Conan Doyle agreed to supply the new magazine the Strand with a series of Sherlock Holmes short stories. A Scandal in Bohemia appeared in the magazine’s July 1891 issue and was a popular sensation. One of the reasons why Arthur Conan Doyles stories were so sought after is because of the use of forensic science and also Holmes never leaves a mystery unsolved; this made the people of the Victorian era warm to the character, believing that he could solve any case. The use of forensic science was new to Doyles audience, and gave them immense hope in Sherlock Holmes, so that when Doyle killed off the detective in 1893, there was a public outcry and Doyle received death threats warning him to keep the detective alive. Sherlock Holmes wasnt alone in his adventures though, he was accompanied by his ex-army officer sidekick, Dr. Watson, who had complete faith in his associate. Conan Doyle targeted his stories at the wealthy and the well educated because of the sophisticated language used. Horse drawn carriages were the means of transport used by the wealthy in the Sherlock Holmes stories, sometimes even by Holmes to arrive at the scene of the crime, which would always be a mansion or a grand estate. The grandeur of the homes of the wealthy added a sense of mystery and suspense, it also enabled Doyles target audience to empathise with the characters in his stories. In the Speckled Band Dr Roylott owns a grand estate called Stoke Moran, The building was of grey and two curving wings, like the claws of a crab. The description of stoke Moran emphasizes the magnitude of it, here Cannon Doyle uses a simile to create an image of a crab he compares its two wings, to the claws of a crab, it also tells us what type of person Dr. Roylott is and that he is not very friendly and welcoming. The detailed descriptions used are a kind of delaying tactic and creates suspense, this is a typical feature used in all detective literature.

POLK Surname Meaning and Origin

POLK Surname Meaning and Origin The Polk surname most commonly originated as an abbreviated form of the Scots surname Pollack, Gaelic Pollag, meaning from the little pool, pit or pond. The name derives from the Gaelic word poll, meaning pool. Surname Origin: Scottish Alternate Surname Spellings: POLLACK, POLLOCK, POLLOK, PULK, POCK Where the Polk Surname Is Found The Polk surname is by far the most common in the United States, according to  WorldNames PublicProfiler, especially in the state of Mississippi. Polk is generally common throughout the southern U.S., including also the states of Louisiana, Texas, Arkansas, South Carolina, Tennessee, Alabama, Georgia, North Carolina and the District of Columbia. Outside of the United States, the Polk last name is found most frequently in Canada, Germany (especially Baden Wà ¼rttemberg, Hessen, Sachsen, and Mecklenburg-Vorpommen),  and Poland. Surname distribution data from Forebears  agrees that the Polk surname is found primarily in the United States, but it is actually found in the highest density based on the percentage of the population in Slovakia, where the surname ranks as the 346th most common surname in the nation. It is also somewhat common in Poland, Germany, and the Philippines. Within the United Kingdom, where the name generally originated, it is was most prevalent in Surrey, Devon, and Lancashire during the period 1881–1901. The Polk surname did not make an appearance in 1881 Scotland, however, the original Scottish version Pollack was most common in Lanarkshire, followed by Stirlingshire and Berwickshire. Famous People with the Last Name Polk James K. Polk  - eleventh president of the United StatesBenjamin Polk  - American architect and designerEzekiel Polk  -  American surveyor, soldier, and pioneer; grandfather of President James K. PolkCharles Polk Jr. - American farmer and politician; member of the Federalist Party, followed by the Whig Party Genealogy Resources for the Surname Polk Polk-Pollock DNA Project: Learn more about the history and origins of the Polk surname by joining this Polk Y-DNA surname project. Group members are working to combine DNA testing with traditional genealogy research to learn more about shared Polk ancestors.President James K. Polk Home Museum: About the Polks: Learn about the upbringing and ancestral home of U.S. President James K. Polk, along with the history of his wife Sarah.How to Trace Your Family Tree in England and Wales: Learn how to navigate through the wealth of records available for researching family history in England and Wales with this introductory guide.Presidential Surname Meanings and Origins: Do the surnames of U.S. presidents really have more prestige than your average Smith and Jones? While the proliferance of babies named Tyler, Madison, and Monroe may seem to point in that direction, presidential surnames are really just a cross-section of the American melting pot.  Polk Family Crest - Its Not What You Think : Contrary to what you may hear, there is no such thing as a Polk family crest or coat of arms for the Polk surname.  Coats of arms are granted to individuals, not families, and may rightfully be used only by the uninterrupted male-line descendants of the person to whom the coat of arms was originally granted. FamilySearch - POLK Genealogy: Explore over 440,000 historical records and lineage-linked family trees posted for the Polk surname and its variations on the free FamilySearch website, hosted by the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.Polk Family Genealogy Forum: Search this popular genealogy forum for the Polk surname to find others who might be researching your ancestors, or post your own Polk query.POLK Surname Family Mailing Lists: RootsWeb hosts a free mailing list for researchers of the Polk surname. Post a query about your own Polk ancestors, or search or browse the mailing list archives.DistantCousin.com - POLK Genealogy Family History: Explore free databases and genealogy links for the last name Polk.The Polk Genealogy and Family Tree Page: Browse genealogy records and links to genealogical and historical records for individuals with the popular last name Polk from the website of Genealogy Today. References Cottle, Basil.  Penguin Dictionary of Surnames. Baltimore, MD: Penguin Books, 1967.Dorward, David.  Scottish Surnames. Collins Celtic (Pocket edition), 1998.Fucilla, Joseph.  Our Italian Surnames. Genealogical Publishing Company, 2003.Hanks, Patrick, and Flavia Hodges.  A Dictionary of Surnames. Oxford University Press, 1989.Hanks, Patrick.  Dictionary of American Family Names. Oxford University Press, 2003.Reaney, P.H.  A Dictionary of English Surnames. Oxford University Press, 1997.Smith, Elsdon C.  American Surnames. Genealogical Publishing Company, 1997.

Criminal Justice Career Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 1000 words

Criminal Justice Career - Essay Example Ensuring that I attain high marks in my final year at UCF remains one of the most important things to me to achieve my objective of becoming a Special Agent in future. The courses I pursue at UCF will leverage my selection as an FBI Special Agent because FBI recruits on the grounds of certain critical skills, which I have so far covered in my university coursework. FBI requires all Special Agent position applicants to first qualify for one of their entry program, which include accounting, language, law, diversified and computer science or information technology. A Special Agent, often referred to as a criminal investigator or detective, gathers facts and assemble evidence pertaining to the intent of ascertaining whether violations of local, or federal laws has occurred in connection to a case in question. No archetypal day exists for an FBI Special Agent because each day has its unique course. Today, an Agent may be testifying against a criminal in a federal court and the following m orning he may be engaged in collecting evidence from the field, making arrests, contacting an informant or doing some paperwork among other activities. There are numerous types of crimes such as Intelligence, Criminal, Counterintelligence, and Counterterrorism among others. As such, an individual aspiring to be an FBI Special Agent may choose which one to specialize in. Special Agents are usually employed full-time and it is very rare to find part-time employment opportunities in this field. Those who have been in the field with vast experience usually get favorable working hours than new recruits who are usually assigned night duties and even weekends as well as holidays. The profession is highly risky, especially because Special Agents deal with criminals who may attack them in one way or another causing bodily harm and even death in extreme cases. Therefore, it is usually imperative to follow recommended procedures when working in order to reduce risk exposure. Special Agent job is a physical and stressful. You are always oblivious of what dangers you might encounter in the line of duty. Nevertheless, Special Agents are trained on how to handle such occurrences, which makes them fit to creatively deal with any situation. In order to become a Special Agent, many people usually serve as police officers before joining the Criminal Investigation Division (CID) as Special Agents. The minimum education requirement for the job is a high school diploma with some law enforcement agencies requiring college or degree certificates, for example, an FBI Special Agent must possess a degree coupled with at least three years work experience. An applicant for the position of a Special Agent must be 23 years old, but less than 37 years. Passing physical test as well as background assessment, including polygraph, is mandatory for one to qualify for the job of a Special Agent. After recruitment process, the selected individuals are taken to a training academy, which could be re gional or agency-owned. One then commences his or her on-the-job training after graduation from the academy. Besides educational requirements, one must have good problem-solving skills, good judgment as well as excellent communication skills. Good communication skill is essential in interacting with peers as well as suspects (U.S. Department of Justice, n.d). One

Western Civ Essay Example | Topics and Well Written Essays - 750 words - 1

Western Civ - Essay Example However, this failed because the powers of the Europeans were limited. The New Imperialism occurred between the periods of 1870 to 1914. This followed the increasing interests of the industrialized European nations to venture more into other nations and colonize them. The New Imperialism majorly focused on Africa as well as Asia (Canterbury, 2010). During the period of New Imperialism, these two continents were faced with several political challenges involving decline in empires as well as wars. These left them so vulnerable thereby enabling the superior nations to colonize them. New Imperialism was caused by several reasons. These causes can be categorized into economic causes, social causes and political causes (Canterbury, 2010). Economically, there was need for the superior nations to access more natural resources and exploit them from such colonies. This meant that such countries with such resources had to be colonized in order for such countries to gain access to those resources. The other economic reason that led to New Imperialism is the need to create new markets for the goods from the colonizers (Canterbury, 2010). This aimed at expanding the market bases of the colonizers thereby contributing to strong economies back in their countries of origin. The colonies were to provide this market to the colonizers thereby informing the rise of New Imperialism. The New Imperialism also arose due to the need for the growing population in the superior countries to get places for settlement (Canterbury, 2010). The population pressure back in their countries of origin forced them to colonize other countries thereby expanding their territories. This follows that as a population increases, the place to accommodate such increases become limited. Therefore, there was need to expand the territories to accommodate the increase in population. The colonizers had massive and superior weapons that aided them in conquering the